Day 31

Yesterday was day 31.  The day I woke up knowing I'd completed what I set out to do: 30 days of clean eating.  And now I could go back to the supercarbsumption (as the It Starts With Food book puts it) I had been used to.  I could eat cold cereal with milk again, cream in my coffee, a tamale for lunch, pizza and a coke for dinner... I was free!  But I was afraid of this freedom.  I woke up and without worry added a teaspoon of honey to my coffee but opened the fridge, looked at that half n half bottle, thought about how good my middle felt and put it back on the shelf.  My sweet black coffee was perfect!  My husband had ordered some Paleo Crunch Apple Pie mix that he couldn't have (walnuts in it) and I couldn't have during my Whole30 (honey in it), but now I looked at it like it was my chance to eat an apple fritter.  Honey, cinnamon, almond meal, pumpkin seeds, walnuts and dried apples never tasted so good!! Mmm. Mmm.


I packed my lunch: The rest of the Paleo Crunch Mix, some sliced strawberries and pineapple on a bed of spring mix with grilled chicken thighs and avocado, some herbal teas and a water bottle.

Strangely enough, I went to work and everybody and their brother had brought baked goods, valentine's treats, and other supercarb delectibles that were calling my name.  I kid you not, this happened not one time during my Whole30, but on day 31... geez!  Talk about a test. ( I couldn't help the whole day think of this as a picture of a spiritual truth I'll explore on my other blog.)  But, because I was scared I'd feel terrible, I resisted and didn't eat any of those goodies.

But yesterday was also a (INFORMATION VIOLATION WARNING!) bad menstrual cramps day and I think the volume of ibuprofen I had taken had done a number on my stomach- either that or my stomach was fighting the stomach flu about half the kids in the school I care for seemed to have- so I was not wanting to put ANYTHING in my mouth besides chicken broth or 7-Up.

This set me up for failure when my boss came into my office offering me a 32 oz. cherry limeade from Sonic.  (By the way, besides a handful of friends at work, most of my co-workers do not know I'm doing this Whole30.  People look at this tall skinny chic funny when she talks about eating healthy as though I were trying too loose weight (which I don't need to do) and I just didn't feel like trying to explain myself.  I'm not dieting.  I'm trying to be healthier.  I wish we all would think more that way.  Anyway, that's another post.)  My knotted up, aching stomach was crying, "Please drink some of that soda and ease my suffering!"  So I took one sip and waited half an hour.   I didn't spontaneously combust and my tummy felt a little eased, so I took one more sip.  I decided that's as far as I was going to go with sugar.   I actually intended to take the soda home and let my kids have it, but I forgot about it and left it at work which really irked me cause I hate wasting money!  (I was going to say wasting food, but then again, it's not really food.  It's something sweet you can drink.  I felt bad that my boss had purchased it for me and I just left it there on my desk!)

So I made it through my day at work basically fasting for fear of dying of sugar overdose and having nothing on hand that would ease my already aching abdomen (my salad with chicken, strawberries, pineapple and avocado sounded like acid to my wounded belly).

When I got home my husband was all ready to celebrate my 30 day finish with a dinner out, but that got squashed in favor of ordering in.  We decided on pizza and I decided on a gluten-free crust for me... I knew what would happen to my gut if I went with a standard pizza crust.  So we ordered the pizzas and I whipped up a chicken egg-drop soup and gobbled it up, hoping the ginger and vegetable broth would act like a healing balm on my torn-up tummy.  It did.  Awwww.  Better.  So while we further waited for the pizza I made another chocolate pudding using an avocado this time, based off of this recipe.  It turned out great.   I used a banana and a little more honey than she did.  Definitely a clean desert treat that tastes like it's a dirty-delicious processed delicacy.

When the pizza came the aroma was intoxicating.  I looked up, thanked God for whoever invented pizza, and dove into my gluten-free pepperoni, sausage and mushroom pizza.  I ate the entire 10 inch pizza myself in a half hour!  Honestly, I was quite surprised that I didn't feel that achy-head-burning-tongue-and-itchy-skin-knocked-out-fatigue feeling I usually get within 5 minutes of eating typical pizza.  So gluten-free has that advantage for me.  But sugar has a more stealth violence on me that I would later experience.

About an hour after we finished eating I began (WARNING- UNLADYLIKE WORDS AHEAD!) the loud belching that has previous plagued me.  Ok, this is something only close friends and family know about me:  Belching is very unladylike and its also something I live with and let out only in the privacy of my own home.  In the past, a swollen, gassy, bloated, tender, aching, belching, aware-of-my-heavy-throbbing-descending-colon me walked around everyday trying to act normal, holding her bloated belling in.  As soon as the belching came last night, I looked up at my husband and said, "You know what, I haven't burped in a month!"  "You're right!"  he agreed surprisingly.  By this morning I have an unhealthy awareness of my tender descending colon that I shouldn't have and am belching like a drunken brutish woman.

It's not worth it.

My resolve is stronger.  I'll keep honey.  I'll try kefir.  I'll creatively come up with tasty grain-free treats.  I'll eat a deconstructed pizza with veggies, but I won't go back to stuff I can eat, when I have the freedom to eat something real!