Homemade paleo mayo

The recipe is all over the internet.  Mine is not an original except that I used apple cider vinegar instead of lemon juice (I'm sure others have used vinegar instead too).  I tried making it with lemon juice, but me and the fam all agree- the vinegar version is better.

1 egg at room temp.
2 T. apple cider vinegar at room temp.
1/2 t. dry mustard
1/2 t. sea salt
1/4 c. plus 1 c. light tasting olive oil (not extra virgin)

The key to the whole thing is patience.  You have to let the egg and apple cider vinegar come to room temp. in the food processor.  That means put them there and let them sit for a good half hour or so.  Then add the dry mustard, sea salt and light tasting olive oil.  Again, patience is required. Once you have all those ingredients in the food processor, turn the processor on and begin blending.  Then veeeerrrrryyyy sllllooooooowwwwwllllyyyyy (very slowly) drizzle the remaining 1 c. of olive oil into the food processor.  Very slowly.  It should take at least 3 minutes to drizzle the entire cup in.

If you've been patient, your mayo should be thick.

Enjoy mixed with tuna or use as a base for your own salad dressings.  I've been taking 2 T. of my homemade mayo, adding a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and a 1/2 t. of seasoning salt (or your favorite spices), whisk together and walla... dressing.  Great mixed with some cole slaw!

My try at the Diva {Ding} Dongs

I'm not a Diva.  Not in any way, shape or form.  Once, at the school where I work, a woman registering her kids for school put on the employment line of a required form: Domestic Diva.

I believe in homemaking!  I think women have a God-given ability to make a home like no man.  But I am noooooo domestic diva.  I strive to perform the domestic arts with some level of skill.  I'm a domestic wannabe.  I can cook, but even there I'm no diva.  The lady over at Diva Dish... that girl can at least take some amazing pictures and if her comments speak for her recipe quality, the girl can bake too.  I did not make out so well with her recipe, but I don't believe for one second it has anything to do with her recipe.  It's all on me.

First problem was when I went shopping last week and bought canned coconut milk I bought Sprouts' brand which has guar gum in it.  The last canned milk I bought was strictly coconut milk and water.  They probably stopped carrying the other kind because it separates in the can and is kind of a pain if you were hoping for creamy out-of-the-can coconut milk.  But separated is exactly what's needed for this recipe.

So if you're gonna make this one, make sure the coconut milk doesn't have any guar gum or other weird ingredients in it. 

 (My dry ingredients.  Unlike the Diva, I used coconut flour and almond meal.)

 (For my chocolate coating I used a Ghirardelli 100% cocoa bar... dark and delicious!)

(I didn't let the cake cool for long enough.  It's really moist and scrumptious and falls apart too easy when warm, hence the not-so-circular shape)

 

(The mountain of chocolate cake deliciousness that was left after cutting the Ding Dong circles out.  Uh... it didn't remain a mountain for long.)

(Taste test by Ryland shortly after dipping in chocolate coating, before it hardened.  After tasting the ones that sat in the fridge overnight with a hardened chocolate coating he said, "It's good.  But it's better when it's cold.")

 

They definitely don't look like the Diva's Ding Dongs.  But if you need chocolate.  And you need grain-free.  And you need desert.  This will hit the spot. What should I call it?  Chocolate Mess Cakes?

Ok.  So the recipe from the Diva is here.  Below are my grain-free, sugar-free substitutes in bold:

For the cake part:

1/2 c. coconut flour

1/2 c. almond meal

1/4 c. Hershey's Special Dark cocoa powder

3/4 tsp. baking powder

3/4 tsp. baking soda

dash of salt

1 1/2 TB. tapioca starch

1/4 c. melted coconut oil

1/4 c. applesauce (room temperature)

1/2 c. coconut milk(room temperature)

1/4 c. honey (room temperature)

2 tsp. vanilla

1/2 c. dates + 1/4 c. water pureed together to form a paste. (you can do this with a blender or food processor)

For the filling:

I flopped here trying to use my un-separated coconut milk.  Didn't work. At. All.  Stick with the Diva's recipe!

For the coating:

1 -100% cocoa chocolate bar (4 oz. Ghirardelli)

1/8 c. coconut oil

3 TB. honey

My Almond {Joy} Cookies

Yesterday was kind of a bummer of a Valentine's day for a 3rd grade boy with pink eye who had to stay home while all his friends were at school passing out candy and cards to each other.  He missed out on bringing home all that chocolate candy booty.  So when he saw me looking at thesee Diva {Ding} Dongs he asked if I would make them.  I can't say no to making a real good chocolate treat.  So today after work I set out to make those Diva Dongs, and while I was working on them, a fail of an attempt at making the cream filling lead to a spontaneous recipe:  My Almond {Joy} Cookies.

It was a fail turned success.  Ryland says they are even better than the creamless Ding Dongs (so basically chocolate covered cakes... still real chocolate goodness) I made.  

Two kids, two votes: 1 says the Almond Joy Cookies are the best, the other votes for the chocolate covered cakes.  My husband stood strong against the honey they contained... the only ingredient that violates his Whole30 commitment.

Cookie:

Wet ingredients:

2/3 c. coconut oil at room temp
1/4 c. coconut milk
1 egg white
1 whole egg
1 t. vanilla
3 T. honey
dash of salt

Dry ingredients:

1 3/4 c. almond meal
1 t. salt
3/4 t. baking soda
1 c. unsweetened shredded coconut

Chocolate coating:
1 4oz. Ghirardelli 100% cocoa chocolate bar
1/8 c. coconut oil
3 T. honey

Blend wet ingredients in one bowl.  Set aside.  Mix all dry ingredients except coconut in another bowl.  Mix dry ingredient mixture into wet ingredient mixture until just blended.  Incorporate unsweetened coconut until just mixed.  Use large spoon to scoop mounds onto cookie sheet approx 1 inch apart.  Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned.  Allow to cool on wire rack.

In a glass bowl place broken up 4 oz.  cocoa bar, coconut oil and honey.  Place in microwave and heat for 1 minute. Stir until chocolate is completely melted.

When coconut cookies are cooled, dip into chocolate coating, place on a plate, cover and cool in fridge until coating is hardened.

Then sink your teeth in and enjoy!

My Whole 30 Pumpkin Bread

When you cut out the white cocaine in a 5 lb bag they sell legally and call sugar, you'll be amazed at the ways you can make something sweet without the white stuff.  Unlike the Whole 30 philosophy, I have nothing against honey.  I say it's God's sugar and was meant for us to enjoy and eat in proper proportion.  But this recipe won't even "cheat" on the Whole30 anti-honey rule.  And it definitely won't cheat on sweet pumpkin breadness!

My Whole 30 Pumkin Bread

1 cup smashed pumpkin
8 pitted medjool dates
1 ripe banana
3 T. coconut oil
3 eggs
1 t. vanilla extract
1/4 c. coconut flour
1/2 c. almond meal
1 T. cinamon
1/2 t. nutmeg
1/4 t. ground cloves
1/4 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. baking powder

Coconut whipped cream topping

In food processor blend 5 pitted medjool dates,  1/2 can of coconut milk,  2 T. coconut oil and 1 t. vanilla extract.  Blend until well blended.  Flecks of dates will remain.  Allow to thicken and cool in fridge before serving.   Makes a good fruit dip too!

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Grease bread pan with coconut oil.  In food processor blend pumpkin, dates, banana, coconut oil, eggs and vanilla.  In separate bowl mix together coconut flour, almond meal, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, baking soda, salt and baking powder.  Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture and stir until well blended.  Pour batter into bread pan and bake for 30-35 minutes or until knife comes out clean.  Allow to cool for 30 minutes before cutting or removing from pan.  Serve with coconut whipped cream topping.

Enjoy!

Sweet Potato and Pumpkin Muffins

So my husband is doing the Whole30 now.  I think he's on his 7th day?  He's pretty much been eating like this for a few years with weekly "cheats" thrown in.  Unlike me, he doesn't crave sweets, he craves Burger King.  So this recipe, even though it qualifies as Whole30 (no sugar, no sweetener of any kind, no grain) and Paleo, it wasn't really much of a help to him. For me it was a hit!

My boys are slowly being integrated into this real-food diet.  As I use up the grain-flours and processed foods I have on hand for them to eat as snacks and use in their school lunches I am putting grainless goodies and fruits and veggies in it's place.  I really thought they'd like these, but they gave them a thumbs down.  So I guess this recipe is a win for me and no one else in my house.

I've always loved to cook, but I have no culinary education.  I learn as I go.  Fail often.  Spend way too much money on food.  And make do with what I have.  I can get away with this in the cooking category, but when it comes to baking, not so much.  Baking is a science.  You have to be exact with your measurements.  I don't know the science, so right now, I'm still looking at other food blogs and recipes as a template for my baked creations.

There are a good 10 or more EXCELLENT paleo/Whole30/grainless/sugarless/unprocessed/clean (whatever you want to call it) food blogs out there.  There is really no reason to read mine.  If you're looking for good recipes do a google search on paleo recipes and at the minimum visit PaleOMG and Everday Paleo (I also like Keeper of The Home- Naturally Inspired Living For Homemakers).  You'll find everything you could want to cook and more there.  For this morning's breakfast I threw together a leftovers omelet and used this recipe at PaleOMG as a guide for making my Sweet Potato and Pumpkin Muffins (My husband said I should make them in mini muffin tins and call them poppers since they aren't the typical, high-rising muffin. Good idea Music Man!)

Ok, onto the recipe and pictures (Confession: I don't know how to take good food pictures so bear with me).

Sweet Potato and Pumpkin Muffins

1 large sweet potato
1/2 cup smashed pumpkin (I used canned pumpkin)
5 medjool pitted dates
3 eggs
1/3 c. coconut oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/3 c. flax seed meal
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cinammon
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375.  Pierce sweet potato and microwave using "potato" setting on microwave (most microwaves have this) or for about 4 minutes.  While the potato is getting nuked put the pumpkin, dates, eggs, coconut oil, vanilla and flax seed meal in food processor.  When the sweet potato is done that puppy is going to be hot, so cut it in half and let it cool for a few minutes until you can handle it without burning yourself.  Then scrape the soft potato out of the the skin into the food processor.  Blend until smooth.  Add the remaining ingredients and blend for a few more seconds. 

Use muffin tin liners and fill muffin liners about 1/2 full of batter.  Bake in 375 degree oven for 25 minutes.  (I ran out of liners, greased a bread pan with coconut oil and poured the rest of the batter in it, and sprinkled with unsweetened coconut flakes.  I baked it at 375 for 30 minutes.  It was fairly flat due to the amount of batter I used.  It's flatness spawned my husband's suggestion to bake them in mini-muffin tins and call them "Pumpkin Poppers". Either way both my man and I thought they were good.  For me it was a crave-curer.  For him it was just a good pumpkin dish.)

Enjoy!

My Whole30 Journal Part 2

OK, so this is a bit late following up on my first post.  It's also a bit (a lot) long.

Day 7:  Black coffee, eggs and chorizo, slice of leftover frittata, herbal tea, handful of cashews, banana, eggs and chorizo on a bed of baby spinach, blueberries, pulled pork, cabbage slaw, green beans, herbal tea.

I forgot to mention: On day six I did 6 sets of 10 strict pushups without having to go to my knees.  The last time I tried to do strict pushups (a couple weeks before this challenge) I could only do 5 strict pushups without going to my knees.  Five.  Not five sets.  Five pushups.  I did SIXTY pushups on day 6 of my challenge.  I don't know if its all in my head or this food is already making a difference.  But I feel strong and I like it!

Today I feel good.  No bloating, but I'm tired.  Probably still reeling from withdrawal from sugar.

Day 8: Black tea, 1/2 sweet potato, baked apple, 3 eggs with baby spinach, banana, cashews, pulled pork with green beans and 1/2 sweet potato, Lara bar, more pulled pork with cauliflower and broccoli.

Day 9: Black coffee, 2 eggs with baby spinach and a small sweet potato, apple, herbal tea, Lara bar, Thai curry soup with chicken, some bites of chicken thigh, Thai curry soup with chicken and butternut squash, bite of salmon frittata

 (Thai Curry Chicken Soup)

I weighed myself at work today.  I never weigh myself.  I don't struggle with weight so I just don't ever weigh.  But I thought I'd document, out of curiosity, any change in weight I might experience over this 30 days.  So on day 9 I (a 38 year old, 5 foot 11 inch, blonde, un-coordinated, non-athletic, skinny chic) weighed 152 lbs.

Day 10: Coffee, 1/2 grapefruit, salmon frittata, apple, Lara bar, Thai curry chicken soup with butternut squash, tea, chicken thigh with sweet potato, 1chicken sausage with sauerkraut, carrot and cucumber slaw, olives, 1/4 sweet potato.

 (Apple Chicken Sausage with sauerkraut)

 

(Carrot and cucumber slaw)

Day 11: Bacon, salmon frittata, coffee, apple, left over roasted chicken thigh, carrot and cucumber slaw, butternut squash, Lara bar, blueberries and cashews, Chipotle salad, apple with sweet potato.

My husband stopped at Chipotle for dinner on the way home and picked me up a salad.  Chipotle is the only place I can go out to eat right now and know I'm eating something clean.

Day 12:  Coffee, salmon frittata, apple with sweet potato, chicken sausage sauerkraut, butternut squash, Lara bar, tea, blueberries, Caldo with chorizo and pulled pork.

 (10 scrambled eggs with beef chorizo)

Day 13:  Coffee, applesauce, eggs with chorizo and spinach, Caldo, blueberries, Lara bar, a handful of the Paleo Kit granola, chorizo and eggs.


I found out after eating a handful of the Paleo Kit granola my husband ordered that it has honey in it!  Bummer!  It's totally delicious.  I'm not craving chocolate cake anymore, I'm craving this Paleo Kit!  It's the first thing I'm going to eat (besides my coffee with honey in it) when I finish this challenge.

Day 14:  Coffee, chorizo, eggs, spinach, unsweetened applesauce, Caldo, apple, blueberries, Lara bar, olives, applesauce, pulled pork and salad.

Day 15:  Coffee, chorizo, eggs, spinach, applesauce, Lara bar, Caldo, Chicken/Shrimp with veggies and mushroom broth from Hayashi grill.

As soon as I ate a bite of this, which I ordered specifically because I figured it would be sugar/grain free, I knew I'd been duped!  My tongue started to tingle.  I had a headache, diarrhea and hyperactive bowels that was making sounds like a washing machine by the time we got home.  UGH!  NOT WORTH IT!  Note to self: read labels, don't go out to eat, start your own clean food restaurant someday.

(This is probably what I ate on day 16 for dinner since I don't see it written down anywhere else. Pulled pork, sweet potato and salad)

Day 16:  I didn't write it down!  I was starting to get into the swing of what I'm eating at this point and two days past and I realized I hadn't written down what I ate.  I could remember the previous day, but not the day before that.  It was probably very similar to day 17's meals... I just don't remember at this point.

(This was a lifesaver for me.  When I really wanted the texture of smooth and sweet this did the trick!)

Day 17:  Eggs, shredded pork, spinach, coffee, Lara bar, apple, shredded pork, 1/2 sweet potato, cabbage slaw, applesauce, chicken and sweet potato/beet chips (Sweets and Beets), coconut milk banana ice cream.

Planning and preparation is a must.  I'm realizing what I buy and prep on Sunday only lasts thru Wednesday

(Sweet potato pancake fail!)

Day 18:  Tea, banana, zucchini, apple, sweet potato pancake (a recipe fail!), bacon, coffee, 1/2 grapefruit, pulled pork, cabbage slaw, avocado, tea, 1 1/2 organic grass-fed beef hot dog, broccoli, sweet potato, Lara bar, Sweets and Beets with homemade salsa.

Eating like this is expensive.  In two weeks we've spent about $450 on food.  Gulp.  I know.  So basically my job is so I can buy healthy food for the family.  Hmm.  I've got to work on making this more budget friendly.  Things like Lara bars, Sweets and Beets, organic grass-fed beef hot dogs, bacon and ground beef are going to have to go.  I'll give thanks and bless the industrial food beef and eat it.  

 (Sweet Potato casserole from failed sweet potato pancake batter. Redeemed, but not my favorite.)

Day 19:  Tea, sweet potato casserole with pork, Lara bar, cabbage salad with sweet potato casserole and pulled pork, 1/2 pink grapefruit, Lara bar, frittata with chorizo.

 (Tuna Salad with avocado and homemade paleo mayo)

 (Paleo Mayo: recipe here)

 (*Secret* Ingredient Spaghetti sauce and spaghetti squash)

Day 20:  Tea, frittata, tuna salad with avocado (made with homemade paleo mayo), veggie chips, applesauce, Lara bar, homemade spaghetti sauce with spaghetti squash.

I made paleo may today:  YUM!  Expensive to make, but if used only with tuna once a week I think its worth it!  The veggie chips are from the same people that make the Sweets and Beets and are just plain goodness.  I discovered a trick to giving the homemade spaghetti sauce the little bit of sweet it needs to not taste like plain tomato sauce with herbs.  The secret is unsweetened applesauce.  I know it sounds weird but it does the trick and thickens up the sauce too.  Tastes delish!

(Thai curry shrimp soup)

 

 (The coconut milk and curry paste I used)

Day 21:  Tea, coffee, bacon, frittata, applesauce, Lara bar, apple, Mediterranean veggie chips, spaghetti sauce on spinach, Thai curry shrimp soup.

I discovered the Mediterranean veggie chips have sugar in them.  Head slap!  I should know by now: If it has flavor and it comes in a wrapper, READ THE LABEL!  I just assumed cause it was made by the Sweets and Beets people it was good.  The Sweets and Beets are good, and the plain veggie chips, but not the Mediterranean flavor.  I'm experimenting with curry.  I didn't think I would like it, but I do! The soup was delish.  (By the way, I'll post all my recipes in separate posts so look for them later if you'd like).

(Pineapple coconut milk ice cream)

Day 22: Tea, coffee, bacon, 2 eggs, spinach, applesauce, Lara bar, apple, Sweets and Beets, Thai curry shrimp soup, pineapple coconut milk ice cream (YUM!)

Day 23:  Tea, coffee, chorizo and eggs with yellow squash and spinach, veggie chips, Thai curry shrimp and chicken soup, Lara bar, strawberries, Lara bar, eggs and chorizo.

Day 24:  Tea, applesauce, chorizo and zucchini, soup, pulled pork, apple, Lara bar, pulled pork, salad, sweet potato, tea.

 (Chicken sausage sweet potato and apple breakfast hash)

 

(Slow cooker green curry chicken on spinach)

Day 25: Tea, coffee, breakfast hash (chicken sausage/apple/sweet potato, YUM!), Lara bar, green Thai curry slow cooker chicken thighs on spinach, jerky and coconut with strawberries (Steve's Original), green Thai chicken with salad, strawberries, pineapple, balsamic vinegar and olive oil, applesauce.

(Frittata with pulled pork and chorizo)

Day 26:  Applesauce, coffee, frittata with pulled pork and chorizo, breakfast hash, olives Lara bar, Beets and Sweets, Paradise bakery salad with no dressing, tea, Sweets and Beets.

Day 27:  Coffee, tea, frittata, applesauce, ground chicken and veggie stir fry, apple, veggie chips, tea, organic grass-fed hot dog, frittata

 (Breakfast skillet: chorizo, apple, and sweet potato with nutmeg, cloves and cinnamon)

Day 28:  Coffee, tea, eggs, chorizo, breakfast skillet (chorizo, apple and sweet potato), ground chicken/veggie stir fry, strawberries, Beets and Sweets, tea, chorizo, ground chicken/veggie stir fry, applesauce.

(Day 28 dinner: Leftover chorizo, Left over ground chicken/veggie stir fry with cabbage leaves to roll it up in.)

Day 29: Coffee, tea, chorizo and eggs, apple, 1/2 Lara bar, frittata, salted chocolate banana pudding, chorizo and eggs.

 

 (Salted Chocolate Banana Pudding)

Information violation:  I have had 2 periods this month!  I don't know if it's my diet or 16 months shy of being 40. Good news:  my salted chocolate banana pudding is as medicinally healing to me as a Dove chocolate bar at this frayed-nerve menstrual cramp state I'm in. 

Day 30:  Coffee, tea, 2 eggs, spinach, applesauce, strawberries, eggs, chorizo, sweet potato, spinach, sweet potato chips, salad with grilled chicken and fruit, 2 eggs and avocado.

It's done! I can live without sugar or grains and feel great!  Despite my terrible cramps and the few mishaps along with way because I didn't read labels or went out to dinner expecting clean food, I feel like a million bucks!  Normally, this time of month would involve a very swollen painful belly.  The pain is still there, but it's not swollen and there's not the sound of a washing machine on meth coming from my mid-section!  I am looking forward to sweetening my coffee tomorrow with honey, but I don't think this lifestyle change is something I'm willing to totally give up.  I wish everyone would do this.  I'd better our economy would improve, our need for advanced medical care would decrease, and we'd all be in a better mood.  We might even have more clean, not-overly priced, places to go out to eat!  Maybe I'll have a Something Real restaurant in my hometown one of these days.  I can dream.

Whole {Paleo} Salted Dark Chocolate Pudding

So I saw a recipe awhile back for a chocolate pudding made with cocoa, honey and avocado.  They say necessity is the mother of invention.  Well this month the hormonal necessity to eat chocolate gave birth to a tasty 29-days-into-my-Whole30-challenge chocolate pudding recipe.  I didn't have any ripe avocados on hand so I decided to use just bananas.  What I got was scrumptiousness!  I'm not a photographer so the pics aren't too great.  The pudding looks a little lumpy because I didn't let it blend long enough.  I was so anxious to get sweet, salty chocolate in my mouth I couldn't stand it!  Next time I make it I'll let it blend till smooth and then take some better pics :)

Recipe:

1/4 cup cream from canned coconut milk (do not include the water)
1/3 cup Hershey's Special dark cocoa powder
2 ripe bananas
1/4 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. sea salt

Place all ingredients in a food processor.  Blend until smooth, approx 2 minutes.  The consistency was slightly thinner than regular pudding, but after spending 30 minutes in the fridge it was perfect! Either way it hit the I-need-chocolate-now mark! 


Enjoy!

Sheila